Day 4

Today I am going to do something different.

I had this idea pop into my head yesterday while I was sitting in class. Yea, I was't really paying much attention in class I admit, but I did hear some words from the teacher that sparked my interest. He was talking about faith. He was talking about how faith was from humans to God. I thought about that for a moment and then an idea flashed through my mind. What if faith is actually goes two ways?

I thought about faith in God more of a promise than a belief. Take the idea of marriage for example, two people commit themselves to each other and make promises. Not only does the bride vow to trust the groom, but she also vows to the groom that he can trust her. There is two different aspects to this relationship, and the same is true of the church's relationship to Christ. The church is Christ's bride, therefore not only does the church trust Christ, but Christ has to also trust the church! Sometimes we see our relationship with God as us just trusting Him and having faith in Him, but if we were honest with ourselves would we be able to say that God can also trust us and have faith in us?

There are two parts to accepting Christ into your life, one being that you choose to trust Him, the other being that you choose to follow Him (let Him trust you).

I know as humans we can never be perfect, but I challenge you to reflect on this and examine your life. Can you honestly say you trust God? If so, can you honestly say that He can trust you? Why or why not?

God gives us so much evidence how how great He is and how we should trust Him, and when we trust Him we follow Him, and when we follow Him He can trust us.

Day 3

Job 38

In the midst of my disease I started to question God. By this time I had been moved from my original hospital down to an intensive rehab program in Virginia, 8 hours away from home. I was depressed, malnourished, anxious and addicted weight loss and yet I still didn't feel I was "sick enough" to need all of this help. I remember saying goodbye to my mom and dad as they walked out the front doors of the facility and walked downstairs to meet the other 15 girls that were stuck here for 2 months with me. During my first week there I had never been so angry with God. I was so mad that He didn't make me the way I though He should have. I had tried so hard to change the ugly mess He had made, and when I said ugly mess, I meant me. I complained about everything, the food, the therapy, the other girls, the rules, my body, literally everything.

One night I found myself in the bathroom crying. I had just exercised and was looking at myself in the mirror. For the first time I noticed the dark circles under my eyes and my my sunken in cheeks. I realized for the first time just how bad I looked. I cried out to God that night and that was when I had a huge realization. I realized that God had not not done this to me, that I had been chained up by the intrusive thoughts that I let take a hold of me. Then I realized something else, I realized that only God could break these chains and set me free.

When Job questioned God why all of these bad things had happened to him, God answered Job in a very powerful way in Job 38. God has laid the foundations of this earth and tells everything just where it should be, He commands the whole earth and everything on the earth. How can I possibly question this God who knows me so well could ever not be in control of my life?

Being frustrated with God seems like a natural choice when something bad is happening, but how can this God who commands the whole earth not be in control? God has His reasons. If God isn't seeming to make sense right now in your life, I challenge you to read Job 38. God always has a plan, and the reason why we can't make sense of it at the moment is because it is far to big and wonderful to ever imagine.